🎤 voc-17993 — Confused Confection of Velbora"
🎤 voc-17993 — Confused Confection of Velbora¶
📍 Discovery¶
- Location: Outer Arm of the Andromeda Galaxy — System Krafft-9 — Planet Velbora — Bakery of Mistwreath & Sons
- Date Discovered: Estimated Cycle 772,413 (Earth Equivalent: approximately 47.652 years ago)
- Discovered By: Client of Mistwreath & Sons Bakery (identity redacted for pastry safety reasons)
📜 Research Report¶
A client of the renowned Bakery of Mistwreath & Sons discovered that applying precise pressure — using all thirty-six fingers on each Velboran hand — to a particular gelatinous confection caused it to emit a curious sound sounding like:
"Yckb'n-ein Jonefkendy"
This bizarre phenomenon captured immediate attention, as the emitted phrase bore no linguistic correlation to any known Velboran language systems.
🖼️ Image of voc-17993¶
Entity 7-B: The Confused Confection of Velbora
🔊 Sound Sample¶
🧪 Field Observations¶
- Response to Stimuli:
Emits the phrase when gently compressed along 12 specific microfaults. - Known Effects:
- Causes mild existential confusion among observers.
- Triggers spontaneous rhythmic bouncing in proximity.
- Mild mating call confusion among native Velborans.
- Security Status:
Currently secured in the Hall of Phonetic Anomalies, Pod C-17.
📖 Cultural Notes¶
Over subsequent 47,652 years after voc-17993 got discoverd in the bakery, this peculiar pastry — now classified as Entity 7-B: Confused Confection of Velbora — became a beloved novelty among the locals.
(The emitted phrase, incidentally, bears an uncanny resemblance to a vital component of the Velboran mating call.)
Following several incidents of diplomatic confusion, three minor wars, and a short-lived musical movement, the sentient pastry was graciously donated to the Opera of Weirdness, where it now resides in the Hall of Phonetic Anomalies.
📜 Conversation Logs¶
Location: Hall of Phonetic Anomalies — Section C
Personnel Involved: Cyanism (Research Assistant), Lucy the Cat (Senior Dimensional Sound Hunter)
[Transcript Excerpt]
Cyanism: (pausing) "Uh... why is there a Berliner in custody?"
Lucy: (without looking up) "None of your business."
(End of transcript.)
🎛 Classification Summary¶
- Sound Class: Phonetic Anomaly (Vocalization Type)
- Containment Difficulty: Low (subject is highly compliant)
- Current Status: Stored , Passive , Occasional Mutters About Political Legacy
🧩 Unsolved Questions / Additional Research Needed¶
- How does a gelatinous confection, composed primarily of flour, sugars, and synthetic jam analogs, manage to produce complex vocalizations without any observable vocal apparatus?
Leading Theories:
Existential Osmosis: Due to prolonged exposure to intelligent beings, the pastry absorbed ambient cultural data, leading to spontaneous phrase generation (a phenomenon known in theoretical circles as "Ambient Cognitive Seepage").
🎭 Opera perfomances utilizing this sound:¶
N/A
🧁 Chef scientist notes¶
Since my pet recognized a similar pastry on Earth we should send an expedition troup to find out if "Yckb'n Ein Jonefkendy" is of relevance for Earthlings.
-Lucy
Why don't you just ask your assistant?
-Zebulon
Stop using the note sections as direct message replacements Zebulon!
-Lucy